this performance took place in a pool with water. the body of the performer (and other performers who were not named for some reason, the artist karen trask among them) was in, under, water. i should have been more wary. or rather, more aware of my own particular context.

meaning: because performance occurs with bodies in relation to other bodies distance is hard to attain (for me anyways.) all my phobias and life experiences get called into play when i witness a performance. the performance is « live » like « life. » part of my life experience has been to witness two bodies being dragged out of water. drowned bodies. one an old man, the other a young boy. and now, still, i have difficulty being calm around bodies and water. i « imagine » the screams of delight of children playing are screams of terror because someone is drowning. i know this. and so…i avoid being too close to those kind of environments.

but here i was at the edge of a pool about to watch a performance. and this performance was too close for comfort in relation to a body being drowned. juliana was a drowned and drowning female body in a white long gown. singing (wailing) then submerging, collapsing under water. her voice being submerged and still wailing, then breaking into the dimension of air to become loud, then being stifled under the water as she collapsed again.

i told myself, obviously juliana was in control…and she had done this performance before and obviously lived (she was here in front of me after all.) so with this wonderful self talk technique i managed to watch the back and forth movement from one end of the pool to the other. but at one point, the other performer, the one in the white rolled wig, started pushing juliana under the water while juliana was singing, then jerking her back up to the surface, then pushing her down under, then jerking her back up, then pushing her back under. well. bodies sometimes don’t listen to nice self talk techniques. hearts start pounding, sweat starts flowing, blood drains from the face, and every muscle in the body wants to jump into the pool and punch that person in the white-rolled wig out and drag juliana back to shore.

interactive performance. luckily for me and everyone else i was right next to the exit, and as soon as i could make my body stand up, i graciously exited.

sheesh.

juliana snapper: http://www.julianasnapper.com